Author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Women

Co-Author with Richard Carlson of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love
and An Hour to Live, An Hour to Love.

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There are moments we just remember like they happened yesterday. I was on a bike on back roads in Montana when Richard called. He said: “There’s been a terrible accident. Mario is in the hospital fighting for his life. He’s in a coma, Kris, and it doesn’t look good. They think he was dead on arrival.”

The Scharmer family had been our neighbors for twelve years. Sharing a parallel spiritual path, we had become more like family than neighbors. The boys, Mario and Miguel, spent much time with us while growing up. They would sometimes spend the night in our guestroom and hang out with our daughters Jasmine and Kenna when they were little. Even as Mario and Miguel grew into young adult men, we still remained bonded and we knew we had their respect. Just that week before Mario’s accident, he had come to our door and asked Richard to help him lift his engine into the shell of his truck. They shared a male bonding moment as they mustered the strength to lift the heavy equipment in teamwork. They laughed and high-fived at their success.

Now, as I turned the pedals of my bike, I was no longer present to the beauty of the Montana Mountains. I felt deep concern for Chris as I felt her pain as a mother, that she very well might lose her son. I also considered what life might be like if he lived.

Chris and Mark had really been put to the test with their boys. Both boys had a wild streak, with more than their share of testosterone, they were challenging on all levels. They tested every boundary and went through incredible periods of disrespect. I often felt disappointed in both of them, that they couldn’t see beyond their actions. Given their loving upbringing and exposure to the spiritual world, I just hoped they would survive their egos long enough to find their way back to spirit and the value system of their mother.

There was never a time when Richard and I were not amazed at how Chris and Mark rose to the challenge before them with Mario. These circumstances were the most demanding imaginable and Chris called on all her past work and training, spiritual and otherwise, to utilize the tools in her emotional and spiritual tool belt. The years of spiritual study, meditation and prayer paid off for her in dividends as she intuited a healing process through uncharted territory. How the brain heals is still very much a medical mystery. At the time, the Doctors said, “Mario, will likely be a vegetable. Chris responded with one word: “No!” She knew in her heart that all things are possible through the miracle of love.

In the early months, I’ll never forget how she designed her own program to stimulate new neural pattern development in Mario’s brain. She created a schedule of volunteers and had all sorts of sensory development stimuli available for us to use on our visits. I would wash my hands really well, enter Mario’s hospital room and spend a few moments just talking to him to let him know I was there. Then, I would read the notes available on what the previously scheduled visitor did and I would mix it up by picking up the next series of items in the box. There were feathers, musical instruments, aromatherapy oils, brushes and many things that would engage Mario’s five senses as if for the first time. I marveled to see Chris travel this journey as she had many years earlier as a kindergarten teacher. Mario was back in Kindergarten again.

Mario remained unconscious except for his heartbeat monitor. Among the most powerful intuitions she had, Chris realized Mario communicated through his heart rate monitor and his heart beat.

There were many things that struck Richard and I as we witnessed Chris and Mark stand up and refuse to be knocked down. They became two of the most devoted parents on the planet. Many would have given up, being completely overwhelmed from the shock and hardship they were facing.

Chris, Mark and Miguel, bonded together and stayed completely present with hope that was imminent and a belief in God that offered strength and encouragement. They have always refused to believe anything other than Mario having a full recovery.

They were unwilling to compromise Mario’s life in any way. They have been a testament, not only to love, but to the bonds of family and the courage it takes to face the suffering of a loved one. Through their example, they have shown how a spiritual practice can be a way of life and how that life style deals with loss and the most demanding of circumstances.

Over the years, I have come to realize that the experience of tragedy and suffering in our lives contains with in it the incredible potential to awaken and ignite our spiritual calling. Our lives may end up having more meaning for change in our world than they would have otherwise if everything had worked out according to our own tidy plan. When we say, “Yes” to spirit, we cannot hide as spirit moves us, as spirit often will. Chris said, “Yes” long ago. Mark said, “Yes” when he married Chris and adopted Mario and Miguel.

As Mario surrendered to his circumstances, he has become a teacher of love. Everywhere he goes he touches people through his incredible exuberance for life. He smiles and kisses and offers unadulterated joy through his essence. He has meaning and purpose and he is loved and he loves. Is it easy to be him? Not one moment of any day is this an easy life for him or any of the Scharmers. They smile and enjoy what life has given them with gratitude. Their courage touches you. The main message here is that love can transform any circumstance and as long as we stay present, love will also be there to heal and transform our lives.

Read more about Kristine…

This is the true story of one family’s heartfelt encounter with a tragic event. It is also the story of how love can transform a nightmare into a miracle.

It was an impossibility that Mario had survived the car crash and yet he had. It took almost a brigade of firemen and “The Jaws of Life” to extract him from the wreck. He was found slumped over the driver’s steering wheel unconscious. He was having trouble breathing and suffered severe traumatic brain injury. On route to the hospital he was ventilated through an oral mouthpiece. The paramedics could not intubate him because his mouth was clenched shut. He was considered brain dead on arrival to the emergency room.

The doctors put Mario in an induced coma for twenty-one days. It was not expected that he would live. Many people prayed for Mario and his family and even though Mario lived, he was considered a vegetable with a poor prognosis for any meaningful recovery. With more prayers and healing Mario slowly recovered.

After one hundred forty-one days of hospitals, Mario finally responded to a doctor and got into a rehabilitation facility. He stayed in rehab for forty days and finally came home. He wore diapers, couldn’t talk, walk, eat, or move most of his body.

The first few years of taking care of Mario were extremely challenging. It has been a difficult journey, but inch-by-inch Mario has kept improving. He never gives up and through the love of his family and friends remains happy most of the time. Richard Carlson a friend of Mario’s and author of the “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” books said, “Mario is the happiest person I know.” And Mario says, “Smile because somebody loves you.”

We often make plans to do things and just when we’re ready to carry them out, life happens. That’s what Christine Scharmer told me once; she’s the author of this book. And life happened to her in an unexpected way that changed her plans drastically one night, seven years and a thousand lifetimes ago.

This book is about that night and everything that has happened since then. It’s the story of a young man’s miraculous recovery from death’s door. It is also the chronicle of a mother’s love for her son as well as the incredible journey she and her family have taken in “Raising Mario Twice.”

At the center of this story is Mario himself. The young man who is no longer the same person he was before the crash and who is now a walking testament to how one person can lovingly impact those around him.

I had the honor and privilege of editing this book for Christine and through that process became acquainted with the immense strength of character that she and so many of her family and friends exhibited throughout this ordeal. As her editor I felt that it was important to keep “her voice”, something that can be easily lost if a book is over-edited.

Christine has a great way of expressing herself and her narrative description of events will often reveal her inner thoughts and feelings in her own unique way. It was also important to keep the tone and quality of the chapter written by her son Miguel, whose eye- witness account describes the night that this horrendous event unfolded.

At the beginning of each chapter, Christine has included some passages of poetry that her son Miguel has written since the accident. These pearls of insight add great depth to the story. In some cases you’ll hear from Mario too, revealing the fact that there is so much inside of him that yearns to touch the hearts of those around him.

In the end, this book is about the miraculous healing power of love, the love bestowed upon Mario by his mother, his family and his friends. But it also about the ongoing impact that Mario has upon the people he meets and how the love that he shares with them changes their lives forever.

Gary Moring

July 2009